Hemlock Grove Episode 3: The Order of the Dragon

Drink of choice: Shock Top Pumpkin Wheat
It’s a good one.  As far as “pumpkin beers I can find at a store near my house”, this ranks near the top.
My original plan was to finally track down some Southern Tier Pumking.  I’ve heard nothing but amazing things about it (the guys at Blood Good Horror rave about it), so I thought it was about time that I tried it.
But it’s never available in Lexington.  However, due to my odd living situation, I’m in the Cincinnati area a couple days a week.  I looked at Southern Tier’s website, and there’s a “find Pumking” option.  Which I did.  It said there was a liquor store 5 minutes from my apartment that carried it.  What luck!  I figured I would stop by on my way out of town and grab some.  I got my dog in the car, and headed over to the liquor store.
The liquor store was no longer there.  Just an empty storefront in an abandoned strip mall.  An apt description of my life.  (That last statement is not true.  I have a fantastic life.  To quote the poet/philosopher Brother Ali, “I love the life I live.”)
I drove home with my head hung low.

Pre-viewing state of mind:
I was a little disappointed that I would be watching this and not the Patriots/Jets game tonight, but I checked the score to that game and feel like I made the right choice.  I’m not necessarily looking forward to this, but I’m not dreading it.  I feel like that’s as motivated as I’m likely to get.
Also, I went to a used video store today and nabbed Monster Squad, April Fool’s Day, The Devil’s Backbone, Zodiac and Cloverfield, so I’m in a pretty good mood.

Episode synopsis from Netflix:
Christina discovers a new victim, and Sheriff Sworn gets outside help from Dr. Chasseur.  Now a suspect, Peter joins Roman to find the killer.

In revisiting my theme of “what was the budget spent on?”, the dead body at the beginning of this episode was horrible.  Looked almost exactly like a mannequin.  Although the smile in the flashbacks was slightly creepy.
Also, for the record, I could go my whole life without seeing anyone kiss a dead body again (even one as terrible looking as the one we saw here).  Seeing that made me a sad panda.

“Damn fine coffee here in Hemlock Grove.  Damn fine apple pie, too.”
I have no idea what’s going on.

It warms my heart to see Dualla and Chief together again.

I love the idea of a guy with mind control, yet using that power for things like making freshman boys kiss each other.  I’m pretty sure that’s a massive waste of superpowers.  You’re part Jedi, and that’s the best you can do?  Shame on you, Roman.  Shame on you.

We’re all in agreement that Roman used his powers to have sex with (and accidentally impregnate) his cousin, right?  That’s not just me?

In reference to the new, murderous-yet-ultimately-self-destructive wolf in town, Destiny (Peter’s cousin/fake gypsy/“sacred whore”) says this: “This isn’t mild-mannered Bruce Banner.  This is Norman Bates.”
I know I’m picking nits, but I can’t help it.  This is not an accurate statement.  Bruce Banner could be described as mild-mannered.  However, his temper brings out the Hulk.  And, since the Hulk made an appearance quite often, I would say that Banner was not always in control of his emotions.
Norman Bates was also mild-mannered.  Extremely mild-mannered.  It wasn’t Norman that killed: it was his mother (or, rather, his split-personality that took on the traits of his mother).  When he was Norman Bates, he was kind, shy, and funny, if a little strange (or, perhaps, mad?  I heard he was prone to go a little mad sometimes.  We all are, really).
Really, Banner and Bates aren’t all that different from each other.  In their native state, both were good guys.  But, when the switch was flipped, they became monsters.  The Hulk is to Bruce Banner what Norman’s mother is to Norman.
My point is, that scantily-clad gypsy girl made a poor analogy.  Try to wipe the surprised look from your face.

This episode should be called “Roman’s Bulging Eyes”.

Times a variation of the phrase “gypsy trash” has been uttered: 1
Times Christina mentions she’s a writer: 1

Final thoughts:
I’d put it about on par with the second episode.  Not great by any means, but just entertaining enough to not make me hate myself for watching it.  (My standards are very low.)  They’re trying to build a sense of mystery, but it’s just not working for me.  I honestly don’t care where this show goes or what happens to any of the characters.  It’s too wrapped up in trying to be mysterious to actually build that sense of mystery.

Post-viewing state of mind:
Tired.  I’m slightly sick, so that’s not helping matters at all.  I also have a feeling that this is as good as the show is likely to get.  If this season’s peak is “sorta watchable”, then it’s not a good show.  But I’m going to keep watching it, so maybe that says more about me than the show.