Lisa C. Fremont’s Best/Worst of 2013

I felt very overwhelmed by picking and choosing for these lists. I will try to keep “my reasons why” short and sweet.

Best Movies of 2013:

Maniac: Elijah is perfection and the P.O.V. was extremely effective. It looked amazing, the soundtrack is amazing and Elijah played a very sympathetic wackadoo. I would marry this movie, if I could.

Stoker:The most beautiful movie I’ve seen all year. Every single detail was pure perfection; even the phone on the kitchen wall fit the perfect, cold, modern/retro aesthetic. Subtle, yet amazing performances from Goode and Wasikowska.

You’re Next: This is just a bag of fun; great jump scares, a kick ass heroine, amazing use of piano wire and an awesome soundtrack. Most fun I had in the theatre all year.

Byzantium: A dreamy, new spin on the worn out vampire story. After a second viewing, I was completely in love with the whole thing. It looks beautiful, sets the perfect tone and Gemma Arterton is breathtaking.

American Mary:Beautiful, heartbreaking and emotionally draining; in the very best way.

Evil Dead:Blood Rain. Chainsaw. Box Cutter. Enough said.

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane:A  wicked smart fulfillment of the twisted female fantasy. (Well, mine,anyway)

No One Lives:Handsome dude causing tons of unnecessary blood shed? I’m in. I’m all in.

Oldboy:A good story is a good story. Josh Brolin and Sharlto Copley are fantastic.

This Is The End: I say the soccer scene with a head and the cannibals allow me to qualify this as horror. This movie is fucking hilarious. “I’ll cum anywhere I want!”


Worst Movies of 2013:

Escape From Tomorrow:I have negative interest in your mid life crisis, you disgusting pedophile. Why don’t you and your stupid Neosporin go jerk off somewhere? Oh wait, I just watched that happen.

ABC’s of Death:F is for Fart

VHS 2: One amazing segment does not make up for the other terrible ones. If this movie were titled “Safe Haven” and it was the only story, I would put it on my “best of” list.

Mama: Overly sentimental which ended up being detrimental to the overall experience. That ending. Oy vey.  You just can’t un-ring that bell.

Would You Rather:I think I’d rather watch one of Sasha Grey’s earlier movies. I’ve never seen “Seinfeld:A XXX Parody”, but it sounds much more delightful than this bore fest.

The Purge:You could have been a contender. No preaching of society issues, please. You’re either a home invasion movie or you’re a political statement on class and race. Not both.

Among Friends: Too much anticipation from the group of people involved really made this fall flat. P.S. what happened to the last few pages of the script?

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. Full disclosure, I’ve written a piece defending this movie. I have a blast watching this movie, much the same way I have a blast watching “Showgirls”. It’s still a giant piece of crap.

Oldboy: Some things should just be left alone. You gave it a real good shot Mr. Lee, but there is only one Chan-wook Park.

The Conjuring:Why? Because there is only one time I have ever screamed in a theatre and it was during the TRAILER for this movie. By the time I got to see the whole thing, I wasn’t scared anymore.

Favorite Albums of 2013:I’m old and listen mostly to First Wave on Sirius. These are not all from 2013, but this is the soundtrack of my year.

Duran Duran: A Diamond In The Mind- Come on now, you knew it would be Duran Duran. It always has been and it always will be. This is, truly, a fantastic live album.

Deftones: Koi No Yokan-Chino Moreno can do no wrong in my eyes. This is what happens when “Around The Fur”and “Saturday Night Wrist” have a baby:epic rock. The Deftones continue to mature with every album.

Ours:Ballet The Boxer – Jimmy Gnecco is such an undervalued talent. You miss Jeff Buckley? Check out Ours.

Maniac Soundtrack: it’s simply beautiful and amazing.

Depeche Mode: Delta Machine- An amazing return to form. Dave Gahan and Martin Gore, you are an exceptional songwriting team:I missed you. I really missed you.

Queens Of The Stoneage:…Like Clockwork- Always kind of hated, yet respected, them until this album. I am now head over heels in love.

Bruno Mars: Unorthodox Jukebox-  Have you seen this kid? I just want to put him in my pocket and carry him around all day.  He’s so stinkin’ cute, a song about having sex sounds sweet and not vulgar.

Mickey Avalon: Mickey Avalon-This little white dude is the shit. Offensive and hilarious:two of my favorite things. “My dick is like an M-16, your dick, broken vending machine.” Priceless.

Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP2- Ugly, homophobic lyrics aside, dude is mega talented. The marriage of Eminem and Rick Rubin on Berzerk is genius. It’s an undeniably catchy song.

Arcade Fire: Funeral-I know they have a new album, and it’s lovely, but I have not stopped listening to this album since it came out in 2004.