It shouldn’t take one very long to notice that even alcohol companies are merging into the dark side with horror themed drinks and containers as well as horror themed people are merging into the alcohol (Marilyn Manson’s “Mansinthe”). Today you can walk into your friendly robbery-free liquor store and see that Tekillya (sorry, couldn’t resist) comes in a Dia de los Muertos glass skull and they also distill blood red vodka that is appropriately named (name withheld until they give me a sponsorship). Lately, internet rumors be damned, I’ve seen more craft breweries pop up and more horror themes associated with them.
Now as every unlucky reader of my articles knows that I am a whiskey, moonshine, absinthe, rum, beer kinda ghoul, and I have at times been guilty of having too much blood in my alcohol system. So stroll on over to your cooler and pick out your favorite adult beverage and pull up a morgue slab. I’m going to give you a run down on my favorite horror related beers for the Halloween season.
10. Black Metal Imperial Stout, Jester King Brewery, Austin TX – Not for sissies, this beer is chewable! Pitch black beer with a dark brown head, it is by far the darkest brew I have ever come across. It is an overdose of the rarest hops and brewed using Texas Hill country well water that gives it a highly bitter taste and a thick weight to the palate. The aftertaste has a bitter dark chocolate reminisce. 9.3% ABV. So it is not exactly horror, but very, very metal!
9. Arrogant Bastard, Stone Brewing Co., Escondido CA – If you thought that the last beer was an acquired taste, try this one! Dark body, with about a 1” thick tan head. It gives a strong caramel aroma, but the hops make your taste buds stand up and surrender. Tread lightly with this one. The label has a angry devil on the front with the warning that states “You’re NOT Worthy”. Yeah, I guess I’m not. 7.2% ABV
8. Strawman, Cider, Angry Orchard. – Yeah, I know cider isn’t beer but hey, I like apples…(no I’m not going to do the Good Will Hunting joke. That’s all. I like apples. Is there a problem?) A fine line between tart and tangy as well as earthy tones. Want a change but yet something that will slide right into the mood of the fall season? You’re welcome. 10% ABV
7. Dead Guy Pale Ale, Rogues Ale, Newport OR – Now here is a daily drinker. Deep amber color with a light tan head. It has a nutty aroma that reminds me of a Newcastle Brown Ale. The funny thing about this beer is that it tastes just like it smells with a hint of vanilla to the tastes. As a bonus, if you can find “Double Dead Guy Ale”, that is another must! I don’t understand the skeletal corpse on the label that wears a Pope hat and sits on a keg. Somebody isn’t getting a good seat in church this Sunday! 6.6% ABV
(PICTURE OMITTED BECAUSE WORDPRESS IS BEING A LITTLE BITCH)
6. Devil’s Backbone, Belgian Style Tripel, Real Ale Brewing Co., Blanco TX – Named after the scenic (and haunted) ridge that runs through Blanco and Wimberly Texas. This is a light amber body with a medium tan head. Made using Czech yeast it has a strong acidic taste but a warm and woody aftertaste. Brewed using water from the Blanco River that is near the brewery the body is light weight and always tastes fresh. It has no preservatives so do not expect to find this beer served anywhere outside of a 500 mile radius from the brewery. 8.1% ABV (This one will sneak up on you!)
5. Zombie Dust, Pale Ale, Three Floyd’s Brewing Co., Munster, IN – With the zombie craze in full effect, why not? A little lighter and with more citrus taste but still in the same vein as Dead Guy Ale. Light brown to copper color. Daryl Dixon would be proud. 6.2% ABV
4. Permanent Funeral, Pale Ale, Three Floyd’s Brewing Co., Munster, IN – Again these guys make the list. I can’t help it if they make quality beer! With help in the concoction from the band “Pig Destroyer”, you know this beer is going to be a motherfucker! So take the Zombie dust and lighten the flavor again, turn the color more golden and BAM; you have Permanent Funeral. I haven’t seen this beer in awhile and I think that it was discontinued to make room for the Zombie Dust. Damn shame. 5.2% ABV
3. La Fin Du Monde, Tripel, Unibroue Chambley, Quebec, Canada – Translated to mean “The end of the world”, this dark gold brew with a thick white head offers less bitterness and more of a citrus spicy kick. With shades of lemon and coriander it is more like Colorado’s Blue Moon. You’ll think it is the end of the world when your glass goes empty! 9.0% ABV
2. Nightmare on 1st St, Pumpkin Ale, No Label Brewing. Katy, TX – You just knew that a pumpkin spice beer was going to make it in here eventually, sorry to make you wait for it. This one ranks up here so high because I have a problem with all other pumpkin spice beers. There is always too much spice and not enough pumpkin. Not in this case. Like a morgue scale, this has perfect balance. This is a very limited season run but it you can find it, stock up like I did. Come to think of it, I may be the reason you can’t find it. 9.27% ABV
1. Blackened Voodoo Lager, Dixie Brewery, New Orleans LA– This beer is as black as my soul, with a rich chestnut colored head and caramel aroma. It delivers a medium weight to the palate and a smoky aftertaste. Based out of the Dixie Brewery in New Orleans this beer was a residential secret for many years until recently it has been marketed to nearby Texas and Louisiana cities. The spooky swamp pictured on the label draws you in because; well swamps actually do look like that down here. 5% ABV
Well there you have it folks; the screwed up things that I will do to my liver to bring you folks the best news information. Please remember to drink carefully and have a designated driver if you are going to partake in any of this dreadful goodness.
And as a victim of a DUI accident, I encourage you to drink responsibly.
Stay scared my pretties!
Renfield writes horror crap, and gets unusually excited about the yearly release of Count Chocula cereal.