It genuinely takes quite a bit for me to quit a movie early on, I’ve sat through some real spicy garbage… and yet, here we are on Day 3 with Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire and, dear god. Lets just get into it.
Vital Stats
Released: 1985
Starring: Phil Daniels, Alun Armstrong, and Bruce Payne
Directed by: Alan Clarke
So, full disclosure with this one, I turned it off about 30 minutes in. So it’s possible, but extremely unlikely, that the movie really comes together in the last hour so if this movie is your favourite of all time, I’m not here to take that away from you. That said, the movie is really … really bad.
Perhaps the biggest issue with this is best surmised by this piece of IMDB trivia:
“The movie is a musical fable built around the real life rivalry between British snooker players Ray Reardon and Jimmy White, who the Green Baize Vampire and Billy the Kid are loosely based on.”
So, what we have here is an extremely niche movie for an extremely niche audience that is almost immediately completely incomprehensible. It wasn’t long before my wife and I both looked at each other and said, essentially in unison “I hate this”, and decided life was too short for this.
Don’t watch it, go do something nice or creepy or something.
Blorp.